Harry Potter and the summer that SUCKED
by AnAngelofShadows
Summary: Harry is expelled, and now living with the Dursleys FULL TIME, what WILL HE DO?
1. Default Chapter

Harry Potter and the Summer that sucked  
  
Background story Harry isnow expelled from Hogwarts. He left in his 6th year after being caught getting it on with his teacher Professor Trelawney...though he swears she put some sorda spell on him...anyways he was now living with the Dursleys full time, doing magic at will, and not to mention any other living creature......and so goes the story of Harry Potter and the summer that sucked......  
  
sighs  
  
Harry: Summer suxs...i think I'll turn Dudley into a Oatmeal box...  
  
Some unknown creature: Hmm....can I watch?! Sounds like the time that guy walked into the forbidden forest and I turned him into a sandwich......that was good....except people came into my turf and were all yelling, "HEADMASTER!?!?! WERE ARE YOU!" And I was like....shit....hmm...to bad!  
  
(Harry took a step back, in fear he may become the creatures next PBJ)  
  
Harry: Did he perhaps look like that guy? (pointing to a picture of what looked like an old man, wearing a Hogwarts robe.)  
  
Creature: Uhhh, I don't know how to say this, but yah, I think I ate a Headmaster....Hmm.....Well, his loss..I WAS HUNGRY!  
  
Harry: (Patting him on back) It's ok.....I ate a booger tasting bean once.....and that's all because I was hungry...  
  
Creature: Righttt....well at least mine was a sandwich...let's go turn your cousin into a sandwich box!  
  
(Harry and the creature walked down the hallway, and through the kitchen into the living room where Dudley was sitting with his friends smoking pot....)  
  
Dudley: What you are here Harry doing?  
  
Harry: Umm, from what I got out of that.....I am about to turn you into an Oatmeal box, muh friend here is hungry.....  
  
Dudley: Cool....  
  
Harry: Oatmealoerousa!  
  
(POOF Dudley was now a delicious box of oatmeal. Harry looked at him, and then at the owl that flew through the window.)  
  
Harry: Shit...not again.  
  
( Harry opened the letter which read...  
  
Dear Mr. Potter  
We have received intelligence that you performed once again, another spell, though you are underage, at nine o'clock this evening at Number 4 Privet Drive, in the kitchen. We have warned you now about 67 times too please stop.....even though there is a chance you may kill us, but even though, you are requested to come and attend a hearing tomorrow morning in the Living Room.  
  
Hope you don't kill us, Yours Truly  
  
Barbara Freespell IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE  
  
Harry: Shit, not AGAIN! Ugghh, well, I guess I'll be off to Azkaban, AGAIN!  
  
(Snap!) (Hermione appeared in the room)  
  
Hermione: HARRY POTTER! NOT AGAIN! How many times have I told you! DO NOT USE MAGIC! Well, unless it's for the good of proper, well, you know......  
  
Harry: You're sick, go away......  
  
Hermione: You piss me off sooo bad! I HATE YOU!!!!! Just kidding..i love you....but please Harry, behave better!  
  
Harry: If you haven't relized...I don't give a flying f%......  
  
Hermione: ? a flying what ?  
  
Harry: I have oatmeal to eat, please excuse me before I turn your smart ass into a steak. 


	2. SUCKED 2

Harry Potter and the Summer that SUCKED even more than before!

(Chapter 2..)

Harry has eaten Dudley…..poor Dudley. It had been a month, and Harry was more bored than ever. He wanted something…something more than good sex and food…he wanted to fly. To fly away to the ..well, he didn't quite know actually.

(harry on roof)

Harry: Ok. I know there must some sort of a spell to get me to fly…I mean, If a wizard can blow another one up, or make their cousin turn into an oatmeal box, they can ATLEAST FRIKEN FLY!

Inner Being of HP: Harry, you can do it, just jump, and you shall fly!!

Harry: Alright, I'll do it!

HARRY STUPIDLY DECIDES TO JUMP FROM THE ROOF, LANDING 2.5 SECONDS LATER ON THE DURSLEYS FRONT LAWN, FACE SMACK INTO THE GROUND.

Hp inner self: HAHA! Last time you listen to me dumbass!! LAST TIME YOU DO DRUGS WITH ME BUDDY!! WHOOHOO!!!

Harry: Fck off….I think I broke my nose..

THIS CONCLUDES ANOTHER POINTLESS STORY OF HARRY POTTER AND THE SUMMER THAT SUCKED.


End file.
